August 21, 2016
I just love Maya Angelou and the many amazing things she has said and left behind on this earth as she walked her path in life here. She was an amazing person, woman, activist, actress and poet. The footprints she left behind were beautiful to say the least. This particular quote cries out to my soul, because while I am walking my path in this thing we call life, I have an untold story to tell which both brings and bears unbearable agony.
To those whom the story also involves, I want you to know that these things told and to be told are not being told to cause you any harm, though they may most certainly bring about some questions, maybe some sadness or even anger. Please know that my ways of communication are always open and ready to talk and answer anything you may have to ask or even vent about... When YOU are ready.
I want you to know that I am writing of things that happened because I want to help others to know that they are not alone. That there is Strength & Healing in telling our stories. I want others to know that there is Support & Help out there to help them through their hard times.
With all of that being said, this week is one of the toughest weeks of the year. But this year is the roughest. This year marks TEN YEARS since we were separated. TEN LONG YEARS since I've last been able to hold you and kiss you and tell you just how much I love you! But no matter where we are in life, I hope you know deep down within your souls, that Mommy has always loved you and wanted you and always will! You all are my amazing and beautiful little loves and will always have a place in my life right here with me waiting.
Love Always & Forever,
Mommy
To those whom the story also involves, I want you to know that these things told and to be told are not being told to cause you any harm, though they may most certainly bring about some questions, maybe some sadness or even anger. Please know that my ways of communication are always open and ready to talk and answer anything you may have to ask or even vent about... When YOU are ready.
I want you to know that I am writing of things that happened because I want to help others to know that they are not alone. That there is Strength & Healing in telling our stories. I want others to know that there is Support & Help out there to help them through their hard times.
With all of that being said, this week is one of the toughest weeks of the year. But this year is the roughest. This year marks TEN YEARS since we were separated. TEN LONG YEARS since I've last been able to hold you and kiss you and tell you just how much I love you! But no matter where we are in life, I hope you know deep down within your souls, that Mommy has always loved you and wanted you and always will! You all are my amazing and beautiful little loves and will always have a place in my life right here with me waiting.
Love Always & Forever,
Mommy
Happy Birthday My Little Captain
October 25, 2016
This morning your beautiful little sister woke me up at the exact same time I woke up 12 years ago to use the bathroom, only to realize I was in labor with you. This morning was the first time in almost a whole decade I awoke on your birthday with a smile on my face, because your little sister woke mommy up with Good Morning Kisses 😘. Mommy held your little sister a little longer than normal this morning, silently wishing a wish on your birthday that somehow you could feel that hug and our love together for you as we embraced.
I gathered her breakfast together this morning and as I did memories poured in from every angle from the morning you were born. Everything from waking up Tehya & Brendan, rushing them to eat something and getting them dressed, getting out the door, then the race to get to the hospital in time to meet you my beautiful precious baby boy. A few hours later I held you in my arms for the first time and you were one of the most amazing and beautiful babies I have ever laid my eyes on. I still remember the smell of all your beautiful black hair! And oh my goodness!!! Your chubby little cheeks! They just made my heart melt instantly!
Oh how I wish I could hold you in my arms just one more time and tell you just how much I really do love you and miss you!
As your sister ate her breakfast and her daddy watched her, I laid back down this morning with my memories of you and the dreams I once held so close to my heart for you & the dreams I still have for you.... & allowed the tears to just fall as I drifted back to sleep, to a place where at least for a moment... even if only in my mind... I could hold you and tell you I love you...
I know deep in my heart and soul that you are growing into an amazing young man... I hope and wish that on this day and every day, that all of your wishes and dreams comes true!
I love you more than there are stars in the sky!
Happy 12th Birthday my Little Captain!!